Last week, I met up with a friend, who applauded my partner and I for making it through the pandemic with our newborn—just the two of us. When we were in the thick of it, it just felt like “this is what new parents do,” but then I was reminded of the saying “it takes a village.”
We’re meant to have lots of help raising children, and especially during their first few months of life. But we so easily forget this. I think a lot of moms today think they can handle it all and put pressure on themselves to make it work (at least I did….and do).
I look back at those blurry first few months and think of what made up my village:
Of course it included my partner, Daniel. But it also included the early morning strong coffees, the late morning stronger coffee, those middle of the night texts to my friends who I knew were also up, or sometimes even the ones who would wake up for me. It included the reddit forums, the Facebook groups, and 3 AM Google searches. The food deliveries from friends across the country, the mental health check ins from loved ones, Queer Eye (that’s what I watched during the night feedings), The UPS and Amazon delivery men, our Instacart shoppers and of course my dear cat, Birdie. She didn’t do much, but came in handy when I needed a good cuddle.
So even though my village wasn’t filled with what I had always pictured, we made it work, we survived it, and I look back on it now with an extreme amount of pride. And now that I can finally have my village around me—I’m reminded how lucky I am to have them.
So if you’re feeling alone, I’m here to remind you that you never truly are.
