In reading about my postpartum symptoms, it seems like I was/am experiencing a lot of postpartum OCD (which overlapped with anxiety), I'm curious if anyone else had this? So far what's been most helpful is talk therapy and meditation, but sometimes it's just really tricky to navigate.
Note to Self: "Babies are Resilient"
No one would ever use the word “chill” to describe me. Since my daughter, Miro, was born I have consistently not surprised myself by being the type of mom who checks on her breathing multiple times during the night. I’m scared of corners and slippery tubs and poisonous flowers. So, when we recently started giving her food, my anxiety spiked in a new and low-key devastating way.
The first food we gave her was avocado. She looked confused for the first few bites and then just kind of disappointed. I was/am determined to have her like vegetables so I wanted to start off with something that was healthy, but like in a “fun” way. Clearly, not a hit. We moved on to fruits, oatmeal, yogurt, beans and then circled back around one more time to avocado, only to confirm that it really just wasn't her thing. As my husband was putting her down for bed that night, Miro suddenly threw up all down his back and across the rug. She looked pretty unfazed but I was on the verge of tears and told my husband to call the pediatrician immediately. While he was on the phone, Miro threw up again. This time I yelled at him to call 9-1-1.
In a very kind and loving way, he told me to “not be a full psycho” you don’t call 9-1-1 when your baby throws up... The pediatrician echoed his sentiment when she called back a few minutes later telling us “it's not a big deal. the avocado was probably too rich. Babies are resilient.” It reminded me of every other phone call we've made to the pediatrician - when Miro ate some bougainvillea, hit her head on a carpeted floor, had a patch of dry skin - our pediatrician would laugh and say some version of “it’s not a big deal. Babies are resilient.” To be honest, Miro wasn’t really fazed by any of these things. I, on the other hand, was deeply unsettled. It’s hard to remember that they’re going to be okay, because they’re so little and tender and in certain ways, completely helpless. But in an effort to be more “chill” moving forward, as we transition from purees to solids and navigate the world of eating, I will try to remind myself - it’s not a big deal, babies are resilient, don’t be full psycho.