When Does The Love Begin?
I thought it would happen right away. Like the moment I felt a flutter in my growing belly, my heart would burst. Of course, you're connected from the moment you find out that you're growing a person inside you, but is that when the love begins?
When they placed my first vernix covered baby on my chest, tears streaming down my cheeks, was it then? Healing from the inside out, rocking her, nursing, humming "You Are My Sunshine" in the darkness of the night–could it have been then?
Obviously, your love grows from baby's warm body resting on your chest, their first smile, first laugh, and when they finally say mama or hold onto your finger with their tiny, chubby hand wobbling along, but then let go to walk.
It wasn't a specific moment it happened with my girls, but then it's like an avalanche of all the moments—the good, the challenging, the sweet and the downright excruciating—and it covered me. Wrapped me up like a baby in my own womb. Seeped through my soul till I could feel it from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair, pumping though my veins and radiating from my skin. Overwhelming, all-consuming, and indescribable. It feels warm and safe, but it can also be scary and painful. How lucky I am to feel this deep, deep love and to pass it on to my two tiny humans.